5.03.2012

from: (786) 519-3709
Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 (utah county)Hello seller,is your item still available for sell ??
me:
Yes, your lucky day, it is! However I'm going to put a mild voodoo curse on the item, hope you like surprises.
scammer:
could you please get back to me with your final last price of the item?
me:
$300 bones and the mildly cursed item is yours!
scammer:
Thanks you so much for that and may i know the actual condition of the unit
me:
Perfect condition. Flawless even. And I bet you are wondering about the curse right? Nothing to worry about really, nothing fatal or even uncomfortable, it simply gives the person who touches this item, permanent erectile dysfunction. Do we still have a deal?
scammer:
Sound good,I will love to purchase your item for a friend who went on a tour to see some exhibition in Africa and.i am willing to offer you $380 USD for both the item price plus shipping cost by the way do you have paypal account for me to make the payment and if you on webcam i will love you to few pics of the item for a view thanks and God bless.
me:
Well I am relieved to see that you are not at all concerned about the curse. Most men would never willingly put their manhood at risk. Sorry no webcam but here is my paypal account - flaccid.forever@gmail.com

5.01.2012

from:  (518) 285-0047
Hello i wanna make inquiry on your ad Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 !!!do you still have this unit available for sale in good condition???what is your final asking price??i wanna buy..
me:
Ya here is the thing. I sold it to hilter and he said hes coming for you.
scammer:
Are you sure???
me:
Pretty sure he said that. Good luck man.
scammer:
ok man 
me:
What you don't believe me? Dude I swear he said that.
scammer:
 forget that man....dont have time for that....

4.02.2012

this conversation took place over the space of a couple days.

from: (678) 551-2259
....Hi,
Nice stuff !! am ready to make the purchase still available for sale?? let me know thanks...
Regards
Rosa
me:
Nope I already sold it to your Nigerian friend who's living in New York.
scammer:
Okay buddy:) do you have any other stuff for sale?? Pls lemm know
me:
Totally! I've got several hundred pounds of moldy old cheese to sell. Are you interested?
scammer:
Nope lol
me:
How about a few cases of miscellaneous laser and tesla coil parts? Perfect nerd gift for all the nerds you know and love.
scammer:
!!..Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ṁ̭̥̈̅̄н☀('.._..')☀нṁ̭̥̈̅̄Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ ..!!... Lol
me:
Well frick man what do you want?
scammer:
Phones or cameras,tablet,laptop
me:
i have a netbook. i have a camera. i also have a phone. lucky you.
scammer:
Lemme knw the types so I can make my choice okay
me:
iphone 4s, asus netbook, GH2 camera.
scammer:
What's the asking price for each of them?? Lemme know so I can the purchase
me:
$300 each.
scammer:
am willing to purchase only the iphone

kindly email me your PayPal request to (davis.rosa98@yahoo.com) so i can send you the money as soon as possible.
me:
Oh I'm afraid I deal in cash only, bozo.
scammer:
i would have prefer to come pay by cash on delivery but i'm not available for the exchange,that's why i said i will be paying you via PayPal and if you do not have a PayPal acc you could easily set up for one at paypal.com to receive your money its only few steps.and if you have quickly log into your PayPal acc and email me an Invoice and i shall proceed for the payment once its send ,i will also include the postage charges fee altogether once,so do get back to me if you're keen to sell. thanks
me:
Haha! Did you think I forgot that you are the scum of the earth? You dishonest sack of garbage!
scammer:
what the hell are you talking about?
me:
You are trying to steal my money. So I have wasted your time, insulted you and now I'm going to blog this conversation so all my friends can laugh at you as well.
scammer:
Hmm
me:
No one likes a scammer bro. You are welcome to go get hit by a car now. Or at least pick a new hobby you stupid bastard.

4.01.2012

scammer: dumblickpaul40@gmail.com -- prince100@gmail.com
Let me know if the items you posted on craigslist still for sale?
me:
Still for sale douchebag, whats it to ya?
scammer:
Thanks for the prompt response to my mail.I will be buying the itemfrom you so please kindly withdraw the advert from CRAIGSLIST.and i
will be paying you via bank certified check from my Bank and the
payment will be delivered to you via United Parcel Service (UPS or
FEDEX) and i will like you to get back to me with the following
information to facilitate the mailing out the check to you... kindly
get back to me with the..
Name to be on the payment...........
Home address...........
City..............
State...........
Zip Code..............
Cell phone #................
I will make arrangements for the pick up as soon as you have your
money I am completely satisfied with the advert and the payment will
be delivered within 2-3 working days.** I use a hearing impaired phone
# and will receive your calls via email ** N.B UPS and FEDEX does not
deliver to a P.O box addresses.Thank you
me:
Name to be on the payment...........Satan
Home address...........Will
City..............Eat
State...........Your
Zip Code..............Entire
Cell phone #................ Family 

3.31.2012

from scammer: Mike James -- mikej1ms47@gmail.com
is ur item on sell ??
me:
Why are you even trying you ugly bastard.
scammer:
Thanks for your quick response, i was introduced to this site by a friend at work. I am well satisfied with the description on your ad, I will like to purchase your item for my Friend who resides and study abroad as a complimentary gift. Though i will not be able to make cash payment due to my tight schedule. But am ready to make paypal as my method of paying, I am offering you $1400 including the shipping fees because i want you help me by shipping it out directly by you through the USPS Express mail Service 5-8days.. Send your PayPal email address to me so I can pay you and proceed with the transaction,I am using only PayPal. This is because PayPal is the most secured and safest way to transact online. You can also get a PayPal email address within few minutes at www.PayPal.com if you are new to PayPal. I hope to read from you soon.

Thanks.

~~ (I left the font as it was in the email.. very obviously copied from somewhere. nice one!) ~~

me:
This isnt even fun any more.

3.29.2012

from: (646) 481-6516
Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 (utah county).........Do you still have it??
me:
Giant Tower of Balls.   Also, I hate you.
scammer:
What do you mean?
me:
You are attempting to steal money from me through lies, and I despise you for it.
scammer:
Nope am not like that, i don't do that ok.......
me:
Then what are you doing?
scammer:
I want to buy from you ok.
me:
Where do you live?
scammer:
I live n work in NY..
me:
I believe you live in god forsaken nigeria. But let's say I'm wrong. Tell me how you're going to put cash in my hand?
scammer:
Can i pay you via PayPal, western union or bank transfer?
me:
Put cash in my hand, or you can go kill yourself.

3.28.2012

from: Wilson Elizabeth olawhite56@gmail.com
IS YOUR ITEM STILL AVAILABLE FOR SALE =====???
KINDLY GET BACK TO ME AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE ???????????
me:
Im so excited to give you all my info! Please tell me everything you want to know! This is amazing!
scammer:
Hi,So glad you got back to me so soon, I really need this Item as soon as
possible, I hope it's in a good condition and am also ready to
purchase and pay for the item immediately, I am so sorry i cannot come
with cash neither come over to check the condition of the item myself,
i am a very busy person and all i can do is send you a cashier check
to please cash it and i hope i can trust you on this, when the check
clears i will also arrange for a local pick up to come for the pick up
as soon as you get the check am sorry about this that's just the only
convenient process i can pay you i hope we handle this in good faith
while waiting to hear from you with your....
INFORMATION TO FACILITATE THE MAILING OF THE CHECK.
1.Full name which you want to appear on the check:
2.Address (not P.O Box):
3.City:
4.State:
5. Zip Code:
6: Cell number:
7. Total Amount:
The check will be mailed out as soon as you provide me with the above
information the payment will be overnight to you also and i will let
you know when it’s mailed out. I will add an additional $30 so that
you can hold it for me till the check reaches you. I will be waiting
to read from you.

Thanks.
me:
Gravity is due to radially oriented electrostatic dipoles inside the Earth’s protons, neutrons and electrons. The force between any two aligned electrostatic dipoles varies inversely as the fourth power of the distance between them and the combined force of similarly aligned electrostatic dipoles over a given surface is squared. The result is that the dipole-dipole force, which varies inversely as the fourth power between co-linear dipoles, becomes the familiar inverse square force of gravity for extended bodies. The gravitational and inertial response of matter can be seen to be due to an identical cause. The puzzling extreme weakness of gravity (one thousand trillion trillion trillion trillion times less than the electrostatic force) is a measure of the minute distortion of subatomic particles in a gravitational field.

3.26.2012

coming to you now in txt messages!  nothing is safe!

from:  (234) 207-4983
is this Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1300 still for sale
me:
i still have it.
scammer:
okay will pay you $1450 including the shipping fee,so get back to me with your paypal email address so as to make payment and if you dont have a paypal account you can sett up one at www.paypal.com and get back to me as soon as possible
me:
wow you douches are spamming peoples phones now too eh? nice. i hope you starve to death.

3.25.2012

from: Mata Elisa granmakids@gmail.com - greta555us3@gmail.com
Wanted asap.Please kindly contact me.I'd like to buy it from you. Thanks,Elisa!
me:
The item you are inquiring about has recently been sitting in a pile of fresh dog turds. Are you still interested?
scammer:
Hi! I am a single mom who works as a teacher's assistant in church atNevada City. I want to give your item to our pastor as a gift.Do you
have a PayPal account? Invoice me using the same e-mail.
If you do not have a PayPal account, Kindly provide me with your Full
name and Address to enable me send you a cash delivery money order.
i will be adding an extra funds during payment for shipment cost
because you will be required to ship the item. I prefer USPS Shipping
Method. Please hold it for me.
Have a Bless Day.
Elisa
me:
Oh perfect! Pastors love fresh turds! This will be an excellent gift choice.
scammer:
Please send me your information i requested for the payment.
me:
Here is your information. You are a bastard.

3.23.2012

from: henry george (hgeorgee2@gmail.com)
is this item still available for sale? please email me back
thanks
me:
It is still for sale. Now go suck on a car battery, then we can deal.
scammer:
Is this item still in good working condition??..I would haveloved to come over to your place to take a look at it but my work does
not give me the opportunity to do so.I want to get this package for my
fiancee as a Birthday gift and would be paying you $1500 plus shipping to
her.I really want to get this for her now and as a surprise gift and i
will be willing to make the payment using PayPal,I have a verified
account with PayPal.So get back to me with your paypal email address
so that i can make the payment right away..Hope to read from you
soonest
THANKS
me:
You didn't really suck on a car battery did you. I am disappointed.