scammer:  jane.ferguson@mail.com, jane.ferguson.uk018@hotmail.com, chana@cantv.net

Hello my love, My name is Jane Ferguson,i read through your profile today and i became interested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an e-mail to my e-mail address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am and for the both of us to know each other very well and better in life,and we can achieve it in future because ture love and feeling means alot in future.Here is my private e-mail address you can contact me with it.(jane.ferguson@mail.com)I am waiting for your mail to my e-mail address above and aslo, Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love,feeling,e-motions and sympathetic love matters alot in life. Thanks,and i promise to be honest and to keep a very good relationship with you. jane. jane.ferguson@mail.com

me:

My Darling Jane,

When you email your next victim you may want to consider not writing the entire message in the subject line.

Good luck!
PS Hows the weather in Venezuela?

scammer:

Dearest ,
How are you today? i hope fine, i really thank you for your reply to
the mail i sent you through the site. My name is Miss Jane ferguson, i am
23 years old, i was an undergraduate in general Nursing, i am hoping
to further my education in nearby future.

i am not married and i don't have any kids, I'm a bite fair in
complexion and of average of height, i am from Liberia in west Africa
and presently residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar Senegal as a
result of the civil war that was fought in my country last four years.
The name of my Late father was Dr Lion ferguson,

he was the managing director of, ECONET GROUP of Company in our
Capital City Monrovia, and he was the Minister of Foreign Affair in
the Liberian Government of Liberia before the rebels attacked my
house one early morning killing my mother and my father,

So i am the only surviving person in my family, then i have to ran to
a nearby country which is where I'm now in the refugee camp, haven't
finish up my education and need a man who will make use of my fathers
wealth and get me through in life,
I would like to know more about you. Your likes and dislikes, your
hobbies and what you are doing presently.
I will tell you more about myself in my next mail. I attach here my
picture for you to know whom i am. I wait to hear from you soonest
Love from
Jane.

 me:

right.  except for the part that you are just an ignorant child in Venezuela...

nice work getting the email subject and body sorted out however, definitely a huge improvement.  now if you could just find someone who gives a damn you might be in business.  

from: (786) 519-3709

Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 (utah county)Hello seller,is your item still available for sell ??

me:

Yes, your lucky day, it is! However I'm going to put a mild voodoo curse on the item, hope you like surprises.

scammer:

could you please get back to me with your final last price of the item?

me:

$300 bones and the mildly cursed item is yours!

scammer:

Thanks you so much for that and may i know the actual condition of the unit

me:

Perfect condition. Flawless even. And I bet you are wondering about the curse right? Nothing to worry about really, nothing fatal or even uncomfortable, it simply gives the person who touches this item, permanent erectile dysfunction. Do we still have a deal?

scammer:

Sound good,I will love to purchase your item for a friend who went on a tour to see some exhibition in Africa and.i am willing to offer you $380 USD for both the item price plus shipping cost by the way do you have paypal account for me to make the payment and if you on webcam i will love you to few pics of the item for a view thanks and God bless.

me:

Well I am relieved to see that you are not at all concerned about the curse. Most men would never willingly put their manhood at risk. Sorry no webcam but here is my paypal account - flaccid.forever@gmail.com

from:  (518) 285-0047

Hello i wanna make inquiry on your ad Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 !!!do you still have this unit available for sale in good condition???what is your final asking price??i wanna buy..

me:

Ya here is the thing. I sold it to hilter and he said hes coming for you.

scammer:

Are you sure???

me:

Pretty sure he said that. Good luck man.

scammer:

ok man 

me:

What you don't believe me? Dude I swear he said that.

scammer:

 forget that man....dont have time for that....

this conversation took place over the space of a couple days.

from: (678) 551-2259

....Hi,
Nice stuff !! am ready to make the purchase still available for sale?? let me know thanks...
Regards
Rosa

me:

Nope I already sold it to your Nigerian friend who's living in New York.

scammer:

Okay buddy:) do you have any other stuff for sale?? Pls lemm know

me:

Totally! I've got several hundred pounds of moldy old cheese to sell. Are you interested?

scammer:

Nope lol

me:

How about a few cases of miscellaneous laser and tesla coil parts? Perfect nerd gift for all the nerds you know and love.

scammer:

!!..Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ṁ̭̥̈̅̄н☀('.._..')☀нṁ̭̥̈̅̄Ṁ̭̥̈̅̄ ..!!... Lol

me:

Well frick man what do you want?

scammer:

Phones or cameras,tablet,laptop

me:

i have a netbook. i have a camera. i also have a phone. lucky you.

scammer:

Lemme knw the types so I can make my choice okay

me:

iphone 4s, asus netbook, GH2 camera.

scammer:

What's the asking price for each of them?? Lemme know so I can the purchase

me:

$300 each.

scammer:

am willing to purchase only the iphone

kindly email me your PayPal request to (davis.rosa98@yahoo.com) so i can send you the money as soon as possible.

me:

Oh I'm afraid I deal in cash only, bozo.

scammer:

i would have prefer to come pay by cash on delivery but i'm not available for the exchange,that's why i said i will be paying you via PayPal and if you do not have a PayPal acc you could easily set up for one at paypal.com to receive your money its only few steps.and if you have quickly log into your PayPal acc and email me an Invoice and i shall proceed for the payment once its send ,i will also include the postage charges fee altogether once,so do get back to me if you're keen to sell. thanks

me:

Haha! Did you think I forgot that you are the scum of the earth? You dishonest sack of garbage!

scammer:

what the hell are you talking about?

me:

You are trying to steal my money. So I have wasted your time, insulted you and now I'm going to blog this conversation so all my friends can laugh at you as well.

scammer:

Hmm

me:

No one likes a scammer bro. You are welcome to go get hit by a car now. Or at least pick a new hobby you stupid bastard.

scammer: dumblickpaul40@gmail.com -- prince100@gmail.com

Let me know if the items you posted on craigslist still for sale?

me:

Still for sale douchebag, whats it to ya?

scammer:

Thanks for the prompt response to my mail.I will be buying the itemfrom you so please kindly withdraw the advert from CRAIGSLIST.and i
will be paying you via bank certified check from my Bank and the
payment will be delivered to you via United Parcel Service (UPS or
FEDEX) and i will like you to get back to me with the following
information to facilitate the mailing out the check to you... kindly
get back to me with the..
Name to be on the payment...........
Home address...........
City..............
State...........
Zip Code..............
Cell phone #................
I will make arrangements for the pick up as soon as you have your
money I am completely satisfied with the advert and the payment will
be delivered within 2-3 working days.** I use a hearing impaired phone
# and will receive your calls via email ** N.B UPS and FEDEX does not
deliver to a P.O box addresses.Thank you

me:

Name to be on the payment...........Satan
Home address...........Will
City..............Eat
State...........Your
Zip Code..............Entire
Cell phone #................ Family 

from scammer: Mike James -- mikej1ms47@gmail.com

is ur item on sell ??

me:

Why are you even trying you ugly bastard.

scammer:
Thanks for your quick response, i was introduced to this site by a friend at work. I am well satisfied with the description on your ad, I will like to purchase your item for my Friend who resides and study abroad as a complimentary gift. Though i will not be able to make cash payment due to my tight schedule. But am ready to make paypal as my method of paying, I am offering you $1400 including the shipping fees because i want you help me by shipping it out directly by you through the USPS Express mail Service 5-8days.. Send your PayPal email address to me so I can pay you and proceed with the transaction,I am using only PayPal. This is because PayPal is the most secured and safest way to transact online. You can also get a PayPal email address within few minutes at www.PayPal.com if you are new to PayPal. I hope to read from you soon.

Thanks.

~~ (I left the font as it was in the email.. very obviously copied from somewhere. nice one!) ~~

me:

This isnt even fun any more.

from: (646) 481-6516

Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1200 (utah county).........Do you still have it??

me:

Giant Tower of Balls.   Also, I hate you.

scammer:

What do you mean?

me:

You are attempting to steal money from me through lies, and I despise you for it.

scammer:

Nope am not like that, i don't do that ok.......

me:

Then what are you doing?

scammer:

I want to buy from you ok.

me:

Where do you live?

scammer:

I live n work in NY..

me:

I believe you live in god forsaken nigeria. But let's say I'm wrong. Tell me how you're going to put cash in my hand?

scammer:

Can i pay you via PayPal, western union or bank transfer?

me:

Put cash in my hand, or you can go kill yourself.

from: Wilson Elizabeth olawhite56@gmail.com

IS YOUR ITEM STILL AVAILABLE FOR SALE =====???
KINDLY GET BACK TO ME AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE ???????????

me:

Im so excited to give you all my info! Please tell me everything you want to know! This is amazing!

scammer:

Hi,So glad you got back to me so soon, I really need this Item as soon as
possible, I hope it's in a good condition and am also ready to
purchase and pay for the item immediately, I am so sorry i cannot come
with cash neither come over to check the condition of the item myself,
i am a very busy person and all i can do is send you a cashier check
to please cash it and i hope i can trust you on this, when the check
clears i will also arrange for a local pick up to come for the pick up
as soon as you get the check am sorry about this that's just the only
convenient process i can pay you i hope we handle this in good faith
while waiting to hear from you with your....
INFORMATION TO FACILITATE THE MAILING OF THE CHECK.
1.Full name which you want to appear on the check:
2.Address (not P.O Box):
3.City:
4.State:
5. Zip Code:
6: Cell number:
7. Total Amount:
The check will be mailed out as soon as you provide me with the above
information the payment will be overnight to you also and i will let
you know when it’s mailed out. I will add an additional $30 so that
you can hold it for me till the check reaches you. I will be waiting
to read from you.

Thanks.

me:

Gravity is due to radially oriented electrostatic dipoles inside the Earth’s protons, neutrons and electrons. The force between any two aligned electrostatic dipoles varies inversely as the fourth power of the distance between them and the combined force of similarly aligned electrostatic dipoles over a given surface is squared. The result is that the dipole-dipole force, which varies inversely as the fourth power between co-linear dipoles, becomes the familiar inverse square force of gravity for extended bodies. The gravitational and inertial response of matter can be seen to be due to an identical cause. The puzzling extreme weakness of gravity (one thousand trillion trillion trillion trillion times less than the electrostatic force) is a measure of the minute distortion of subatomic particles in a gravitational field.

coming to you now in txt messages!  nothing is safe!

from:  (234) 207-4983

is this Panasonic GH2 with 20mm 1.7f lens - $1300 still for sale

me:

i still have it.

scammer:

okay will pay you $1450 including the shipping fee,so get back to me with your paypal email address so as to make payment and if you dont have a paypal account you can sett up one at www.paypal.com and get back to me as soon as possible

me:

wow you douches are spamming peoples phones now too eh? nice. i hope you starve to death.

from: Mata Elisa granmakids@gmail.com - greta555us3@gmail.com

Wanted asap.Please kindly contact me.I'd like to buy it from you. Thanks,Elisa!

me:

The item you are inquiring about has recently been sitting in a pile of fresh dog turds. Are you still interested?

scammer:

Hi! I am a single mom who works as a teacher's assistant in church atNevada City. I want to give your item to our pastor as a gift.Do you
have a PayPal account? Invoice me using the same e-mail.
If you do not have a PayPal account, Kindly provide me with your Full
name and Address to enable me send you a cash delivery money order.
i will be adding an extra funds during payment for shipment cost
because you will be required to ship the item. I prefer USPS Shipping
Method. Please hold it for me.
Have a Bless Day.
Elisa

me:

Oh perfect! Pastors love fresh turds! This will be an excellent gift choice.

scammer:

Please send me your information i requested for the payment.

me:

Here is your information. You are a bastard.

from: henry george (hgeorgee2@gmail.com)

is this item still available for sale? please email me back
thanks

me:

It is still for sale. Now go suck on a car battery, then we can deal.

scammer:

Is this item still in good working condition??..I would haveloved to come over to your place to take a look at it but my work does
not give me the opportunity to do so.I want to get this package for my
fiancee as a Birthday gift and would be paying you $1500 plus shipping to
her.I really want to get this for her now and as a surprise gift and i
will be willing to make the payment using PayPal,I have a verified
account with PayPal.So get back to me with your paypal email address
so that i can make the payment right away..Hope to read from you
soonest
THANKS

me:

You didn't really suck on a car battery did you. I am disappointed.

heres a new one from: msmsmsms msmsmsdmsmdsd sdjaklajlakjsjkss@gmail.com

still available for sale??

me:

the nuke didnt get you? darn.

scammer:
Thanks for responding, I'm ok with the price. I would like to send payment asap. Please let me know if a certified check is ok. After my check clears my shipper will come and pick it up at your location. I would have loved to come and take a look but I can't. My shipper will though. If you can get back to me with your details I'll get the check out asap. Need your full name and address, and your telephone number.

Awaiting for your response asap.

me:
I am simply amazed at your lack of effort. do you really expect any results for your pitiful attempts? scamming is an art bro! you need to pick a solid email address with a convincing american looking name AT LEAST!

your lack of effort is seemingly contagious. I cant even muster the enthusiasm to properly insult you.

just give up man.. this isnt really working out for either of us.

-g

I finally got a few responses from a scammer so I pretty much had to post this one.

From: jesica white - jhnbill7@gmail.com or jesicawhite4love@globomail.com

is the item sill available

Me:

go spam someone else, asshole.

Scammer:

Hello 

Thanks for getting back to me,I am interested in your item and i will like to buy this item from you...am okay with the price listed for it...So please do withdraw the advert.I will also like you to know that i will be paying via Certified Bank Check or money order due to the distance I am and personal commitment.I will need you to provide me with the following information to facilitate the mailing of the check as soon as possible..  

Your full name.  Your mailing address(residential).  Your phone number. 

I will like you to know that you will not be responsible for shipping,i will have my shipping agent to come over as soon as you have cashed the check.....Await your response as soon as possible. 

Regards

Me:

I guess you dont know how to read, so I am including this picture to tell you how I feel about you and all your friends. 

Scammer:

what is that

Me:

That is a nuclear explosion.  It is what I wish would befall you and all your colleges because you are worthless to the human population and I want you dead. 

Let me know if you need any further explanation or insult.  I will happily oblige you.

Scammer:

yes i need more my dear

Me:

you need more what?  my personal information?  are you still trying to scam me?  or you need more insults?  or you need more information on hydrogen bombs?

----
ill post any new responses i get.
----

Scammer:

lol..i love u....more of u and insult

Me:

I must say I admire your tenacity.  I didnt think I would get a response from you at all, now here you are trying to romance me!  what do you look like?  you should send me a picture.

its been almost 2 years since my last post here. well it turns out there's still just as many scammers out there as ever.

----
From: leticia Schroeder leticiaschroeder40@yahoo.com

Hello, I saw the ad you posted on CL, i was wondering if this was still available.. Contact me and let me know asap! Thanks in advance
---
me:

oh very vague of you. go choke on a fish bone you slime.

from: mary smith (mrsmth105@gmail.com)

Hello Seller,
Am from United State, am searching the iterms on craigslist and i came across this iterm and i wish to purchase it for my own personal use,i will like to know the present condition and the total cost of the item while i will be processing the payment via check and i will also be responsible for the shipping, will like to know how you feel about my offer and to know the next step to take while i will be waiting for your reply.
Sincerely
patrick

my response:

First of all lets just get one thing out of the way. You're a RETARD!

Ok now lets get down to business. Lets talk about your opener "Am from United State" What the HELL does that mean!? Who exactly do you think you're going to fool with an opener like that? Last I checked there aren't any 4 year olds making transactions on craigslist.

And I seriously can't believe how all you people keep using the same exact words "i will like to know" instead of "I would like to know" its amazing! Are all you retards going to the same "How to scam Americans" Class? Let me tell you.. you need to find a better teacher!

And while I'm at it.. here's a few more tips. Make sure you're email address and name match. Good job on the name "mary smith @ mrsmth105@gmail.com" Very American! However you signed your name as "patrick" at the bottom of the email. Not very wise is it?

But here is the best tip of all that I can give you! You need to make sure you are emailing someone who is actually SELLING SOMETHING YOU IDIOT! I posted a WANT ad! That means I want to BUY something not sell it you retard!

There so I hope this helps you out a little. Honestly I would like a bit of a challenge here and there but this is by far the WORST! Congratulations! You deserve a trophy. Or at least someone should throw you a fish...

Fantastically yours,
Garit

p.s. I wish you and you're whole country would be destroyed by terrible earthquakes and fire... the end.

Here is another one.. I don't really even understand this one but its still funny. This was all that was in the body of the email and the whole thing was a link to some male enhancement site.

------------------------------------------------------

The trophy can now be in your pants...

------------------------------------------------------


Ha!

So I have been getting a lot of funny "male enhancement" spam lately and I have decided to post some of them. Today I got this one...

"The Pump It Up, Expanding, Stuffy Head, Heated Skin So You Can Get Some, Medicine"

who gets paid to come up with this stuff? lol

I got this email today. This is spam not a scam but for some reason it made me laugh reading it. So I'll share it with you..

--------------------------------------------------------------------
from Lacay Branum date Nov 28, 2007 1:52 PM

greeting garitd

dont be like me. i lost my girl because i couldnt have sex in the woods @ night. use Vl/\g1a!
http://considertire.com

Lacay Branum

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks Lacay! A life without being able to make love in the woods at night is not a life I want! You have truly saved me and my love life!

from: frank suatoni

YOUR ITEM QUITE INTERESTS ME AND I HOPE IT IS STILL AVAILABLE FOR SALE ..I RESIDE IN CANADA ONTARIO TO BE PRECISE .I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE FINAL ASKING PRICE AND THE CONDITION OF THE ITEM WITH SOME PICS BUT IT WOULD BE PICKED UP BY MY HUBBY'S CLOSEST CARRIER IN THE STATES .SO IF YOU ARE WILLING TO SELL SEND ME YOUR FULL CONTACT NAME AND ADDRESS TO POST PAYMENT TO YOU IN FORM OF LEGIT CASHIER CHECK.I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU A.S.A.P TO COMMENCE ON
THE TRANSACTION ...

my response:

go kill yourself
go hang yourself
go play marco polo on the freeway
go eat razorblades
go play with cobras
go drink battery acid
go make friends with a tiger shark

and stop being a total jackass!

- Garit

from: Caroline Thill

Hello Seller,Good Day to you ,I reside in London UK, Am a registered purchasing and sales agent,in which my client has shown interest in your display item on craigslist so i will like o know

1)Did you accept certified cahier's check payment drawn from US Bank?
2)Can we trust you with the money
3)Will you be able to cash the check payment sameday you got the check at your bank?
4)What is the condition of the item
5)what is the final asking prce of the item
6)Will you be able to allow my client private shipping company to come to your house for the pick-up of the item from you down to where it is needed urgently?
7)Kindly send us your full name,address and phone number where the check payment will be mail out to okay cause the item is needed urgently.

Hope to read from you soonest
Regards and God Bless

my response:

Please accept this limerick I wrote as a response to your email.

you are without doubt the biggest loser ever heard of
i wish a giant meteor would rain death from above
and forever silence your incompetent banter
unless something could end your life faster?
nah, I'd still send a meteor with all my love

thank you.

here is an additional limerick a friend of mine wrote.

get an honest job,
you motherf'in knob,
you'll make money faster,
you stupid gay bastard,
if you decide not to rob.

ps we both wish you were dead =)