from: Mata Elisa granmakids@gmail.com - greta555us3@gmail.com

Wanted asap.Please kindly contact me.I'd like to buy it from you. Thanks,Elisa!

me:

The item you are inquiring about has recently been sitting in a pile of fresh dog turds. Are you still interested?

scammer:

Hi! I am a single mom who works as a teacher's assistant in church atNevada City. I want to give your item to our pastor as a gift.Do you
have a PayPal account? Invoice me using the same e-mail.
If you do not have a PayPal account, Kindly provide me with your Full
name and Address to enable me send you a cash delivery money order.
i will be adding an extra funds during payment for shipment cost
because you will be required to ship the item. I prefer USPS Shipping
Method. Please hold it for me.
Have a Bless Day.
Elisa

me:

Oh perfect! Pastors love fresh turds! This will be an excellent gift choice.

scammer:

Please send me your information i requested for the payment.

me:

Here is your information. You are a bastard.

from: henry george (hgeorgee2@gmail.com)

is this item still available for sale? please email me back
thanks

me:

It is still for sale. Now go suck on a car battery, then we can deal.

scammer:

Is this item still in good working condition??..I would haveloved to come over to your place to take a look at it but my work does
not give me the opportunity to do so.I want to get this package for my
fiancee as a Birthday gift and would be paying you $1500 plus shipping to
her.I really want to get this for her now and as a surprise gift and i
will be willing to make the payment using PayPal,I have a verified
account with PayPal.So get back to me with your paypal email address
so that i can make the payment right away..Hope to read from you
soonest
THANKS

me:

You didn't really suck on a car battery did you. I am disappointed.

heres a new one from: msmsmsms msmsmsdmsmdsd sdjaklajlakjsjkss@gmail.com

still available for sale??

me:

the nuke didnt get you? darn.

scammer:
Thanks for responding, I'm ok with the price. I would like to send payment asap. Please let me know if a certified check is ok. After my check clears my shipper will come and pick it up at your location. I would have loved to come and take a look but I can't. My shipper will though. If you can get back to me with your details I'll get the check out asap. Need your full name and address, and your telephone number.

Awaiting for your response asap.

me:
I am simply amazed at your lack of effort. do you really expect any results for your pitiful attempts? scamming is an art bro! you need to pick a solid email address with a convincing american looking name AT LEAST!

your lack of effort is seemingly contagious. I cant even muster the enthusiasm to properly insult you.

just give up man.. this isnt really working out for either of us.

-g

I finally got a few responses from a scammer so I pretty much had to post this one.

From: jesica white - jhnbill7@gmail.com or jesicawhite4love@globomail.com

is the item sill available

Me:

go spam someone else, asshole.

Scammer:

Hello 

Thanks for getting back to me,I am interested in your item and i will like to buy this item from you...am okay with the price listed for it...So please do withdraw the advert.I will also like you to know that i will be paying via Certified Bank Check or money order due to the distance I am and personal commitment.I will need you to provide me with the following information to facilitate the mailing of the check as soon as possible..  

Your full name.  Your mailing address(residential).  Your phone number. 

I will like you to know that you will not be responsible for shipping,i will have my shipping agent to come over as soon as you have cashed the check.....Await your response as soon as possible. 

Regards

Me:

I guess you dont know how to read, so I am including this picture to tell you how I feel about you and all your friends. 

Scammer:

what is that

Me:

That is a nuclear explosion.  It is what I wish would befall you and all your colleges because you are worthless to the human population and I want you dead. 

Let me know if you need any further explanation or insult.  I will happily oblige you.

Scammer:

yes i need more my dear

Me:

you need more what?  my personal information?  are you still trying to scam me?  or you need more insults?  or you need more information on hydrogen bombs?

----
ill post any new responses i get.
----

Scammer:

lol..i love u....more of u and insult

Me:

I must say I admire your tenacity.  I didnt think I would get a response from you at all, now here you are trying to romance me!  what do you look like?  you should send me a picture.

its been almost 2 years since my last post here. well it turns out there's still just as many scammers out there as ever.

----
From: leticia Schroeder leticiaschroeder40@yahoo.com

Hello, I saw the ad you posted on CL, i was wondering if this was still available.. Contact me and let me know asap! Thanks in advance
---
me:

oh very vague of you. go choke on a fish bone you slime.

from: mary smith (mrsmth105@gmail.com)

Hello Seller,
Am from United State, am searching the iterms on craigslist and i came across this iterm and i wish to purchase it for my own personal use,i will like to know the present condition and the total cost of the item while i will be processing the payment via check and i will also be responsible for the shipping, will like to know how you feel about my offer and to know the next step to take while i will be waiting for your reply.
Sincerely
patrick

my response:

First of all lets just get one thing out of the way. You're a RETARD!

Ok now lets get down to business. Lets talk about your opener "Am from United State" What the HELL does that mean!? Who exactly do you think you're going to fool with an opener like that? Last I checked there aren't any 4 year olds making transactions on craigslist.

And I seriously can't believe how all you people keep using the same exact words "i will like to know" instead of "I would like to know" its amazing! Are all you retards going to the same "How to scam Americans" Class? Let me tell you.. you need to find a better teacher!

And while I'm at it.. here's a few more tips. Make sure you're email address and name match. Good job on the name "mary smith @ mrsmth105@gmail.com" Very American! However you signed your name as "patrick" at the bottom of the email. Not very wise is it?

But here is the best tip of all that I can give you! You need to make sure you are emailing someone who is actually SELLING SOMETHING YOU IDIOT! I posted a WANT ad! That means I want to BUY something not sell it you retard!

There so I hope this helps you out a little. Honestly I would like a bit of a challenge here and there but this is by far the WORST! Congratulations! You deserve a trophy. Or at least someone should throw you a fish...

Fantastically yours,
Garit

p.s. I wish you and you're whole country would be destroyed by terrible earthquakes and fire... the end.

Here is another one.. I don't really even understand this one but its still funny. This was all that was in the body of the email and the whole thing was a link to some male enhancement site.

------------------------------------------------------

The trophy can now be in your pants...

------------------------------------------------------


Ha!